My Top 5: Alterantive Christmas Movies, The Weird, The Wackey And The Down Right Stupid. The Best And The Worst.

Well It is a bit comical doing a top 5 of christmas movies, but hey It’s the first christmas celebrated by us at Cinema Sharks! Where did the year go? A big year for cinema, and a great year of movies — it’s not even  the end of the year yet and I’m still hungry as ever to get into a new year of fantastic film! So as a ode to the silly season, fill your stocking with some of the best and worst Christmas movies of all time! Enjoy!

(in no particular order)

Die Hard: The ultimate guy movie splashed a little with egg nog and carols, now this is a christmas movie a fella can get behind! On the surface Die Hard just seems like Bruce Willis going around in a singlet and bare feet kick-the-crap out whoever shoots first…but on the inside all this film wants to be is a warm-hearted christmas story…with some machine guns thrown in. John McClane is a police officer who is afraid of spending christmas alone, flying to LA to spend it with his estranged wife. What starts out to be a forgiveness/reconciliation story soon transpires into a hostage “one-against-them-all” type situation. In a short 2-hours McClane manages to kill several campy european terrorists, bomb a building, and save the day all-without shoes. I mean is that christmas or what!

Bad Santa: Taking mean spirited non-holiday cheer to a whole new level, and if Scrooged doesn’t hit the Bill Murray spot then this is for you. Don’t be mistaken by the cover, this is a christmas movie, but with balls — Parental discretion advised!! Billy Bob Thorton pretty much fixes any notion that this movie is a warm-hearted movie, with his foul-mouthed booze hag santa act being described as the “evil twin” of Miracle on 34th Street. Not a critic’s favorite, but one of my own! For those who prefer their christmas’ dark and crude — and who like a good laugh as well.

Nightmare Before Christmas: A obvious choice in alternative christmas movies, NBC is a movie that celebrates not only the silly season but  Halloween aswell! A pairing of sorts, that turns out to be the weird and wacky kinda christmas we love!  Filled with witches, demons, ghosts, ghouls and monsters — this is a christmas you have never know before! An instant classic, another wonderfully dark animation/CG hybrid from director Tim Burton.

Gremlins: Not an obvious choice, as it took some reminding to even realize it was a christmas movie (the amount of movies i watch it phenomenal) but hey still a classic none the less. No present like the lovable little creature that transforms into a vicious little critter if you feed it past midnight — if only that could be said of humans. I mean the state I wake up in some mornings is very true to the movie, a comedy-horror that actually made a decent amount. And didn’t get a thrashing from critics, a merry Gremlins christmas to you.

Children Of Men: What I loved about this is that COM took the festive tale of the birth of mankind’s savior Jesus and contrasted it with a futuristic dystopian setting — the year 2027. Not an overtly obvious Christmas film, for those who have had the pleasure of watching it will know the appeal of sci-fi religion intertwined with war. Children Of Men is a lot deeper than the rest of the films on here in a way that it doesn’t have a narrative that’s even set around the holiday period. 


Santa Claus Conquers The Martians: Oh what can I say, I’m all for mixing things up…but aliens!? I mean the story of how Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians to give presents to Martian children sounds feeble enough — but once you watch it…I mean seriously!? I’m not the only one too, SCCTM is on many a “worst films ever” list and sadly I agree. There has been talk of a remake…please god no!


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